Tip of the Iceberg
by Stranger
Summary: Alicia Spinnet is having problems seperating the terms "obsession" and "adoration". Warning: Slash, swearing in Chapter 2.
1. At the beginning...

Basic Information: The Rating is PG13, there is SLASH in this, so be warned! Run away, little children, run away! These are not my characters; they're JK Rowling's...blippity blah blah.  
  
Summary: Alicia Spinnet wishes for something...someone...in diary form.  
  
Note of the Author: This is a pairing of Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet. Don't fall off the cart, boys and girls. Stay on the turnip cart.  
  
Notice: This was originally posted by Winter_Solstice, but she asked me to keep it here, under my pen name. If you don't like that, too bad. Life's a bitch.  
  
***  
  
Tip of the Iceberg  
By Rhi  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I am officially screwed over. I mean, is this normal for teenage girls? Am I sick in the mind or something? Did getting hit in the head with Bludgers once too many times damage the few brain cells I have?  
  
See, the problem is I find myself disgusted with Lee Jordan. Kissing him is like smashing my lips against two warm, soggy, liver-flavored pieces of raw meat. Frankly, I'd rather write a three-scroll assignment on the course of Jupiter during the month of December than "snog", as Fred puts it.  
  
I don't hate Lee, but he just isn't interesting anymore. He's told me all about himself, kissed me more than ten times, and gone to the Yule Ball with me. What else does he want? He needs to grasp the concept that I'm tired of being his girlfriend and want to move on.  
  
Move on where? Lately, I've been thinking of a certain someone. Nicely tanned skin, glacier-blue eyes, and long hair pulled back in a ponytail. Need more hints? I'll tell you. It's Katie Bell. She's on my mind the instant I wake up, right before I go to sleep, and sometimes, even during the night.  
  
I don't know how it started. I knew her a few years ago, duh, she's a Gryffindor, but I wasn't close to her. Now, I start noticing her all around, talking to friends or walking down the hall. It's driving me crazy!  
  
I don't even know WHY I like her. It's not like she's attractive, or an exceptional student, or even particularly nice. I guess it's just bad luck and the fact that she:  
1) has these startling blue eyes that grab attention  
2) plays the best damn Quidditch I've ever seen  
3) is kind of distant ~oo...sexy~, doesn't talk much, has an inferiority complex (which I do not always find attractive, but...), has a lot of friends, and tense, a little angsty.  
  
I've got to figure out what to do. Should I ignore this? I know it's not going to go anywhere. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. I'm so confused.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
"Alicia? ALICIA!"  
  
*wakes up* "What?"  
  
"Is there any reason you're not doing anything?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, right. Quidditch. Right." *laughs nervously, heads for the Quaffle*  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It was so embarrassing! I hope no one noticed except for George. Hmm... Maybe that's a bad thing. George is way too manipulative right now, if he finds out, either the whole school will find out, or I'll be paying him to keep his mouth shut.  
  
There's nothing wrong with watching Katie, right? Nothing wrong at all. It's perfectly normal to watch Katie zooming around on her broom, to watch her do those crazy spins away from the Bludgers. I'm not weird for concentrating more on the bounce of her ponytail than the game, right? It's not crazy to look on as she throws her slightly speckled arms up in the air while she celebrates a goal, laughing, screaming with joy, those blue eyes glinting with- Oh, shit. I'm doing it again. I'm acting all romantic.  
  
Come on, Alicia, think of something else. Like...like what? I can't think of anything else!  
  
Alicia   
  
***  
  
"Alicia! Wait up!"  
  
*turns around, nervously backs off* "Oh, hi."  
  
"Well, what do you think?"  
  
"What are you talking abou- Oh my god!" *THUD*  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
You're not going to believe this. Lee, in a fruitless and pathetic attempt to impress me, shaved all the dreadlocks off. Where there was a tangled mess of dirt brown hair, there's a speckled baldhead. Not appealing if you're trying to act like you still adore this skinhead. To make things worse, Lee's head is bumpy, and a rash is beginning to develop the back of his head. Eewww...  
  
She, on the other hand, had all her golden brown hair in a half upsweep. Nothing totally bizarre or disgusting. I noticed she's streaked the front of her hair red. Very appealing, I assure you.  
  
I am in a considerable dilemma over what to do about Katie. I should tell someone. But who?  
  
Alicia  
***  
Dear Diary,  
  
I tried. I really did. I couldn't think of anyone in seventh year who I would talk to, so I went to someone I thought could help. Hermione.  
  
I thought I could just tell her my problem and she'd help somehow, but the moment I faced those gray eyes, I knew instantly she couldn't help. How the hell is a sixth year I barely know going to assist me with my romantic problems?  
  
She faced me and said, "What's going on?" I couldn't answer; my body totally froze up. I think I said something like, "Aaaaahhh..."  
  
I have never felt so stupid. That's only the tip of the iceberg. I find myself actually waiting outside her classes, staying up late to watch her sleeping in her golden curtained bed... My friends have noticed- they say I don't act like I usually do. This secret will either explode...or implode...  
  
Alicia  
***  
  
Note of the Author II: Well, how is it? Does it totally suck? Is it okay? You actually *gasp* like it? A review would be nice, you know. I am not receiving ANY reviews whatsoever. Hello, people reading this, I don't want to be a bother, but I NEED INPUT!  
  
Oh, by the way, what should happen? Talk to me, people. I want to know what you want. I already have the end defined, but any anecdotes or little details you want that would add I'd probably do. Okay?  



	2. I hate you so much right now...

Basic Information: The rating is PG13, and while the whole thing is (pretty much) slash, there will not be any explicitness whatsoever. Nothing that a thirteen year old would be shocked at...  
  
Author's Note: Onward with Katie and Alicia! I will develop all the little twists on the way, such as the Lee/ Angelina love/ hate relationship.  
  
***  
  
Tip of the Iceberg  
By Rhi  
  
"No. I've said no, and that's that!"  
  
*grins impishly* "Is that your final answer?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Please? You know you want to..."  
  
"NO! Stop asking!"  
  
"Aww...come on..."  
  
*sighs* "Fine, just once."  
  
*the sound of kissing ensues*  
  
"Just...just a little bit more?"  
  
"Good night, Lee. Go to sleep."  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I am sick with myself. Why do I give in to that onion head's desires? Does snogging make up for the repulsion I feel for him? Every moment I spend with him is spent on thinking of ways to evade a kiss or trying to spot Katie in the crowds of Hogwarts.  
  
Oh, we had a Quidditch game today. I was so worried in the beginning because it seemed that everyone, especially our seeker, was totally out of it. We didn't have the drive, the motivation, or the adrenaline to go for the Quaffle.  
  
Katie did her job very well- the whole game revolved around her (like always). I've wondered how it was possible for a single girl to keep control of the ball all the way up the field against several chunky Hufflepuffs much larger than she was, but she did it. The way she just weaves around the other players is amazing; it's like aerial knitting or something... I don't know...  
  
We had started off badly, but after the Hufflepuff team scored a goal, we woke up. Angelina actually got called off the field for disorderly conduct (think smashing into other players) and one of the fifth year reserve players got placed in her stead. We won for the second time in a month. Not the greatest, but still, a victory for Gryffindor.  
  
So, we headed up to the castle, sweaty and exultant. As she headed for the common rooms (I was planning to celebrate with my Ravenclaw friends), I called out, "You did a terrific job!"  
  
She turned around, nodded and grinned ever so slightly. She _never_ smiles. Seeing that is like being trapped in a cavern and finding a ray of sun shining down. Brief, but something to remember.  
  
Alicia  
***  
  
"Hey, Alicia?"  
  
"Uh?"  
  
"Uh, I heard that you aren't...umm...like, with Lee anymore..."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
***  
Dear Diary,  
She thought I was depressed over not "being with Lee". First, I still haven't broken up with him yet (something I should start thinking about), and second, why the hell would I be sad that Lee's slimy lips aren't dripping down the back of my neck?  
  
My friends think I'm "in love" with one of the Weasley twins- I'm always staring at them when they walk by. It's a really good thing they don't realize that Katie's one of their best friends...  
  
I think this adoration is turning into an obsession. The only problem is where does one end and the other begin?  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
*trips over something. Or some things. Swears loudly, rubbing knee.*  
  
"Hey, could you watch it? We're kind of busy here..."  
  
*looks down and gasps* "What the hell do you think you're doing? Lee? Lavender?"  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
That damn son of a bitch was snogging Lavender behind my back! I caught those two tonight, just slobbering all over each other in the middle of the common room. People have no shame anymore.  
  
It's not that I mind so much that Lee is flirting...well, paying attention to someone else. Well, maybe it is, but the thing I'm really, really angry at is the fact that no one told me. I mean, it would be nice to get a warning or something...  
  
Speaking of warnings, the whole school needs to be warned of its major fashion disaster. For some...odd reason, everyone likes Lee's...onion headedness, and many of the Gryffindors males have shaved their heads. In my mind, there is _nothing_ more disgusting than a head with a roll of flesh right above the neck barely covered by hair. Or a head shaved to be reminiscent of a checkerboard.  
  
****  
Author's Note: Yes, it is slightly dragging right now, but I promise it'll get better in a few days. I'm currently under writer's block.   
  
Author's Plead: Please, please review my story. I need to know what you want.  
  
Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.  



	3. Interlude: Just what I needed...

Author's Note: This is a list Alicia scrawled in her boredom. It will fill in the space as I work on the next chapter. Enjoy!  
  
***  
  
Tip of the Iceberg: Interlude  
  
By Rhi  
  
***  
Alicia Spinnet  
History of Magic, Gryffindor 7th Year  
  
The Best Twenty Things about Katie Bell  
  
1. Her hair: it's always smooth and luxiourisouly tidy, even after a Quidditch game or surprise windstorm.  
  
2. Her voice: it's on a whole different range than everyone else. It's not higher, maybe a little bit lower pitched, but its better modulated, even if she sings like a drunken aadvark stuck in a storm drain.  
  
3. Her clothes: she doesn't try to fit in with everyone else, like Cho. She wears what she feels comfortable in- baggy pants and loose t shirts underneath the black robes.  
  
4. Her friends: she's friends with almost everybody-both guys and girls. She's friendly to everyone-even Draco Malfoy and that stupid Lavender Brown twit.  
  
5. Her classes: she takes Magic and the Arts and Rune Studies, she's independent, dedicated to what she does.  
  
6. The way she acts: she's not that physically attractive, but she... "sends out" these charismatic vibes It's like, the more you know her, the more attractive she is.  
  
7. Her attitude: she's so laid back and stuff. She can stand up and sing "the love of my life with the green pickles to get us" off tune and not freak out.  
  
8. Her ambition: she wants to do whatever she feels like (i.e., "I'm gonna move to America, start a rock band with me as the lead guitarist, write my songs under the influence and go ice fishing." Cool, huh.  
  
9. Her owl: Constipated Satan? Funny, very funny.  
  
10. Her moves: in Quidditch, she never goes that fast, just flies leisurely. Also, she can keep the ball away from anyone. Anyone.  
  
11. Her figure: she's not disgusting curvy, like Bulstrude, and doesn't try to stuff to make herself look like there's something there. She's athletic, in good shape.  
  
12. Her eyes: that light, gorgeously delicate blue. They're piercing and deep, not to mention mesmerizing. I could loose myself in them if I looked long enough.  
  
13. McGonogall: she takes so much crap from that stupid woman (being inquisitioned every day), and she hates it, so she lets her know-She stands up for herself.  
  
14. The fact that she's not perfect-her faults:  
a. She can't pass the Quaffle unless we tell her to.  
b. She swears in front of the professors.  
c. She's not totally communicative, but then again, she'll talk to anyone when she's in a good mood.  
d. She hates being critiqued on her Quidditch skills.  
  
15. Her movement: whether walking or sitting down, she's always at ease with herself. She's not elegant-like trained ballerina elegant, but natural elegant.  
  
16. Her accomplishments: she's great at playing any kind of sports, even muggle sports! She's always the Most Valuable Player, and she definetely deserves.  
  
17. Eye Contact: when she looks into your eyes, it's like she's winking at you, relaxed and impish.  
  
18. Her self depreciation: unlike *some* people (Angelina), she actually feels really bad when she messes up.  
  
19. Her smile: when she smiles, it's like there's a warm creature running up my back. Normally, she's tired or bored, but when she smiles, she's a whole different person-happy, friendly.  
  
20. Her independence: she is her own person, not a posession, not an extension, not an imitation. She is Katie Bell, no more and no less. She doesn't try to pretend she's perfect, even though she aims for it.  
  
Author's Note: I will start on the next chapter... sometime. Currently, I have too much to do: study for two tests, program my d.v., prepare for a debate... all that good stuff.  



	4. Isn't it ironic...

Author's Note: Yay! I am back, with enough... data to work on my next chapter. We just had spring break, so I lost _so_ much time that could have been used on reasearch. *sigh* Anyhow, this next chapter will focus more on the Alicia/ Katie part, although there will be some parts with Onionhead Lee...  
  
Rating: PG13, for much swearing, some "adult situations", implied alcohol abuse, threats of violence, and all those small things that make life wonderful, dah-ling.  
  
Tip of the Iceberg Part III  
By Rhi  
  
***  
Walking down the halls,  
Do you ever feel eyes on you,  
Some one watching,  
Waiting,  
For you to turn around?  
- The Chase  
***  
"Hi, Katie! Why do you have an icepack on your head? Are you okay? What happened?" *bounces around happily*  
  
"..."  
  
"Ginny, if she doesn't want to talk about it..."*shoots dirty look at Ginny*  
  
"God, sorry." *bounces around*  
  
"Well... I hit my head on a window."  
  
"Really?" *giggles* "that's pretty stup-"  
  
"Ginny, shut up."  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I hate the world today. Just when you think EVERYTHING is going fine, the rain comes out and pisses all over the friggin picnic.  
  
I'll give a recap: we were in one of the carriages, headed to Hogsmead for another party of a Quidditch victory- we've won all but one game this season (the first one, which was against Slytherin). Suddenly, Fred says, "So, Katie, are you excited about going to Minnesota?"  
  
It turns out that Katie's going to America, specifically, Minnesota, after she graduates, and she's probably not coming back to Europe.  
  
For the rest of the trip, there and back, I was pretty quiet, watching Katie ramble on about Minnesota ("I'll ice-fish and write songs for my garage band while under the influence."), while the twins, Harry and Ginny (one of our latest additions as Keeper) tried Bubble Butt Bon-Bons, Nose Grows Chocolates, and Snot Enhancing Gumballs on Angelina, who was very unappreciative of being used as a guinea pig.  
  
However, when everyone got back to the dorms, I threw myself one my bed and started bawling. It's not fair! We were winning, everything was going fine. And then she tells the team she's moving to Minnesota for next year! What the hell does Minnesota have that we don't?  
  
I did feel pissed, but not anymore. Now, I feel kind of sick, like some one hit me square in the chest. It's not fair, that I should start liking some one who is leaving the country this year. Darn.  
I feel like kicking something or throwing up, preferably both. It's kind of miserable, not being able to tell anyone... I would tell Angelina, I know I could trust her with stuff like that, but... I guess I'm too scared.  
Life is a total bitch.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Alicia!"  
  
*turns around* "Go away."  
  
"Alicia, I wanted to apologize for-"  
  
"Lee, if you don't get the hell out of here, you're going to find a broomstick up your ass."  
  
"It was an accident!"  
  
"Fuck you!"  
  
"Alicia... forgive me?" *bats eyelashes*  
  
"Go. Away. Before. I. Hurt. You."  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today was a happy day.  
  
I've calmed down about the impending doom of Minnesota. I mean, Carpe Diem, right?  
  
She was terrific at the game. I swear, I never thought it would be possible for someone to score a goal with an eyepatch, but she did it. She also took on five Ravenclaws at the same time, and kept on playing after some stupid brat tried to kill her with a Bludger.  
  
The boys got kept back for some reason, so it was just Ginny, Angelina, Katie, and me in the carriage-we had so much fun. Angelina was teasing Ginny about Colin, and Katie was telling us (in a very slow voice so Ginny could understand) about the time she got up early to watch the sunrise and found Hagrid bathing with the giant squid.  
  
For some reason, Katie started staring at me. She was smiling-I couldn't figure out if I had spinach between my teeth or I was growing antennae, so I freaked out and hid behind a curtain-we all started laughing.  
  
It was terrific-the girls' night out, if you will.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
IN THE COMMON ROOM  
  
*runs into room, holding an (upside down) poster of Michael Jackson* "THE GREEN PICKLES WILL GET US! THEY'LL GET ALL OF US!"  
  
*looks over* "Alicia, is Katie always like this?"  
  
*sips tea* "Nope. Either, there's a game coming up or the aliens have landed."  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
What a horrible wonderful day!  
  
I didn't see her all day (we had our selected classes) until the dance, which the teachers had planned for us.  
  
I was wearing a too-tight halter-top, baggy pants, teased hair, and too much makeup to be comfortable. She was relaxed as always in a burning alligator t-shirt and jeans.  
  
I danced with random guys, mostly younger, that I didn't know and didn't care about. Then Fred asked me to dance, so I did. She was (for the first and last time the whole dance) dancing with George, and started when she saw me dancing with the twin. George winked, as did Malfoy-what got into him?  
  
I felt disgusted with myself-he probably wouldn't have danced with me if it weren't for the top. I wanted to run away and hide.  
  
As for the rest of the dance, she spent it joking with Draco, and I talked with Cho, Angelina, Padma, and that stupid slut, Lavender-has she been putting on weight?  
  
At the end, we milled around, still gossiping, and wonder of worlds, we were right next to her. Somehow, we got to the subject of hair.  
  
"Blue streaks with green underdye" finally got her attention, but she left with the twins. I dragged Angelina and myself up the stairs.  
  
The last I saw, she was in the common room, staring into space while the twins imitated the more... interesting dance moves of the "illustrious Potter" and his clique.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
*stares into space*  
  
"'Lici, what's going on?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You're always staring into space, you're never happy unless there's a Quidditch game or practice, and you don't seem... alert."  
  
*laughs* "I'm just not coordinated in the mind and body."  
  
"'Lici, are you okay?" *looks worried*  
  
"No, but it's not fatal."  
  
"Is it about Lee?"  
  
"Listen, 'Lina, I don't want to talk about it. Not right now."  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It's really not fair. I know that there's a probably zero "deviant" tolerance here, so what should I do? I obviously don't have the courage to talk to anyone, but I have to. I've asked my parents their views on homosexuality a long time ago and they are (tacitly) against it. The teachers I could talk to couldn't help, and my friends are out of the question.  
  
The worst part is there's only about three weeks left before graduation, time is running short. What's a girl to do? Should I tell her? Should I forget about her, knowing she'll totally leave my life in a few months?  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
Author's Note: Actually, I don't have an ending anymore-the one I had planned is too crappy. So:  
Email me @ Demonwilow@aol.com with suggestions for the ending, etc.  
  
Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.  
  
Please review!  



	5. With or without you...

Author's Preview: What would happen if love-struck Alicia is separated from Quidditch and Katie for a week? In this chapter, the seventh years are going on trips, half going to the beach, half to the mountains, and Katie is in a different group than Alicia.  
  
Author's Note: No more writer's block! La la la la! I am so happy! Anyhow, now the time is runnning short for Alicia, will she confess or wait till it's too late?  
  
Warning: This chapter has swearing, alcohol abuse, and other social "niceties" in it. Oh, there's also the slash theme. Beware!  
  
Tip of the Iceberg: Withdrawal Week  
By Rhi  
  
***  
  
We climb into carriages, our faces tired. People push and jostle to be with friends, to get away from enemies, chaperones, teachers.  
  
The seventh years going to the beach have already left an hour earlier-we weren't allowed to get up with them or say goodbye.  
  
I sit in a black carriage, watching Hogwarts disappear, only half listening as Angelina prattles on about what fun we'll have in the mountains.  
  
It will be a test, no Katie, no Quidditch, no magic-things I don't think I can live without.  
  
***  
  
Day One: Welcome to Hell  
  
"It gets worse"-my sentiments exactly. Angelina and I are stuck in a crowded carriage with four other shouting and gossiping girls. Angelina says she's carsick and I'm wondering if my luggage will make it to the campsite.  
  
We have two hostile Slytherins, both self-proclaimed "mall rats" across us, and they just won't shut up. They're examining the _Witch Weekly_ horoscopes-I hope sudden, brutal death is somewhere on the page.  
  
I want my broomstick. I want to see Katie. I want Quidditch pratice. I want this trip over.  
  
After the trip ends, we'll have to meet our hippie guides, muggles who don't know we're "magical folk", so we'll have to hide all magic signs. We'll have to set up tents with our own hands, we won't have running water, or any luxeries.  
  
I'm in hell.  
  
***  
  
Day Two  
  
I am tired, I had this huge bloody nose last night and bled all over my night clothes and sleeping bag, I can't find my makeup, and I'm hungry.  
  
Worst of all, it's only seven twenty in the morning...  
  
Now it's something like seven or eight in the night and I'm still tired, I'm convinced someone has been searching my bags, I'm sore from hiking, and I miss Hogwarts.  
  
***  
  
Day Three  
  
In my dream, the Quidditch team members were walking around in towels, asking me what I thought about Katie. I said I didn't know her well enough to judge, and she appeared, crying.  
  
I think I'm losing it-all I can think about is next week, when there will be time for Quidditch and such. Well, maybe not losing it, but I'm definitely desperate to get back to school.  
  
We went spelunking today. Some jerk tried to grapple me when the lights went out, and I slapped him.  
  
I really think I should tell Katie how I feel about her.  
  
***  
  
Day Four  
  
All day long, I thought of Katie to keep my hiking up-I imagined her in different outfits, I thought about her hair, her eyes, her voice, her friends, her love prospects, and her Quidditch moves.  
  
I will see her tomorrow-I am so excited. I cannot wait until this damned trip is over.  
  
Angelina says the hippies admitted to spiking the drinks. It certainly makes sense-we were all a little bit crazy:  
  
"You know you want some, Fred." (Lee)  
  
"Your going down tonight. Seven pm."  
  
"Yes, finally!" (Fred and Angelina)  
  
"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Give me the goddamn matches!" (Cho)  
  
As for me, I had a breakdown. It turned out that the chaperones had candy and weren't giving it to us. I wanted it so much, and was so frustrated, I started crying. Then I started laughing about my situation. Everyone began to break away slowly. I don't think I've cried for lack of candy since I was five.  
  
***  
  
Day Five  
Finally, homeward bound!  
  
People became unusually high tempered: three fights broke out in twenty minutes, all easily stopped, but still.  
  
Lee, Fred, Angelina, Cho and I chose to sit in the same carriage for the ride back-then Mr. Onionhead got the idea to play Truth or Dare.  
  
It was really quite tame, compared to what we usually play. Lee kept on trying to apologize, so I kicked him in the shin. He shut up.  
  
Katie had already gone to sleep when we arrived. It was kind of disappointing, not being able to say hi or anything, but at least we're back!   
  
***  
  
Author's Note: Blippity Blippity Bloo.  
  
Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.  
  
Please review!  



	6. The End of the World....

Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.  
  
Tip of the Iceberg Part IV  
By Rhi  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
We lost our game .It was so horrible. The Slytherins "drew first blood" (scored the first goal), and we lost confidence from there.  
  
The referee, Professor Sinistra called us on so many stupid things (I hope he gets castrated, falls from the Astronomy Tower and gets ravished by Fang.) I fell off my broom while passing the ball, smacked my head on the hard ground, almost got a bloody nose. Harry got hit in the face, and his glasses broke. Ginny got squished between two burly sixth years, and a reserve player got put in for her, and the reserve was pathetic, no enthusiasm whatsoever.  
  
Everyone was not playing their collective best. While I feel sorry for our team, I feel the most sorry for the seventh graders, particularily Katie Bell, because we won't be here next year to try to win, and she always tried her hardest.  
  
I cried. I was so upset that they scored, that I didn't get the Quaffle, that no one was seeming to care, that George wasn't helping with our Keeper problems, so I cried. Actually, I bawled. I was sobbing so hard George decided to take me off field. The idiot took Katie off, too-the finals and he started playing all of our reserves!  
  
Cho was there, so I hugged her a lot. And Ginny and Angelina too.  
  
Everyone said the game didn't really matter, but it did. We could have beaten them. We should have beaten them. It was the last and most important game-we were fine, but lost it when it really counted.  
  
By the way, Katie was staring at me a lot, like trying to figure out what/ whom I was. I was so upset I didn't meet her gaze. The whole time during the school concert, which was horrible, I was semi-crying and thinking about writing something like:  
  
It's amazing how one un-returned look can mess up your entire life.  
She hates me now, I know it. Tears are a sign of weakness, something to hide, to do in private.  
If only I'd stopped crying and looked back! God only knows what might have been, but it would have been preferential to whatever is happening now...  
  
Stuff like that, I was so hoping to talk to her later, but she stayed down in the Hall with the twins and Lee.  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
Gah. I forgot that there's some special festival the seventh years have to go to.   
  
At 5, we were supposed to wake up, but we all went back to sleep.  
  
At 6, McGonogall came in with breakfast, and were horrified to see us all in our nightclothes. Evidently, everyone was already dressed and such.  
  
So, we rushed around, pulling on skirts and blouses, applying eye shadow, lipstick, foundation, concealer, nail polish, etc. We downed our food and ran to the Great Hall. No one was there, except for Cho, little miss perfect. I really dislike her right now-it annoys me that anyone can look so perfect and happy at six thirty in the morning.  
  
We sang for the judges, and they hated us. They humiliated us by making us do and say stupid things, they criticized everything, and couldn't come up with ONE SINGLE compliment except "Nice choice of songs. Too bad you screwed them all up."  
  
We knew we were going to lose. After that, we watched random choirs sing and dance, ate hamburgers at a dingy shack, drove to an enchanted glade (everyone in the carriage slept while I fantasized about dancing with Katie), and milled around aimlessly for two hours.  
  
I was so worried, because I saw her talking to the twins, glance at me, and grin sarcastically. I thought she had caught on, I was freaking out. (Argh, I was wearing that stupid coral halter top, and I forgot she hates it. I'll never wear it again!) I stayed far, far away until we got back to school.   
  
For some teachers' conspiracy, all the seventh year guys left thirty minutes or so before us, and then we departed. We sang Vitamin C's "Graduation" song, it was very moving.  
  
In the car with Angelina, and Cho, we sang and danced to many eighties songs. Then I started thinking about how all these songs applied to my current condition, and how I would never see her the same way as I see her now, if I ever saw her again, because Minnesota would change her, and such angsty thoughts. I started crying of course, but not loudly or obviously. Angelina noticed, of course-I think she has come to the conclusion I'm insane.  
  
So, we returned to school. She was there, waiting for luggage with Fred and George. I got my bags, threw off my shoes, and ran around. I began to have a sugar high- being barefooted always does that to me, especially if I am running/ jumping/ dancing on stone.  
  
Then, we all drifted off to sleep in the common rooms. Aww...  
  
Alicia  



	7. 4...3...2...1...

Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.  
  
Tip of the Iceberg Part V  
By Rhi  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I hate this world. Mom signed me and Daddy to go to Cancun (where the hell is that?) two days before graduation. When I pointed out that this was MY GOD DAMN GRADUATION in question, and I would only be missing the most important event in my pathetic life, she got all defensive and started pouring the guilt on me. "Oh, your father's been dreaming of this for MONTHS."  
  
Unfortunately, two days before graduation is only five days away now. Why me?  
  
The worst part is, I'm absolutely sure I will see Katie at least two years from now. The thing is, I'm terrified of the change I'll see in her-- will she be a hard working business person or will she retain her relaxed, dawdling mannerisms? After the new life she will have in America, will she even remember me?  
  
I'm really scared about this. It is a change, a total breaking of communication. I'm never going to see her again, not the way she is now. I'm never going to be able to "accidently" bump into her or joke with her or even bask in the serenity that radiates out of her. Never, never again. Nada, zip, zero, zilch. I won't ever get to play Quidditch with her again. I won't ever be able to talk to her.  
  
I talked to Cho about this, just talking to her in general about how sad it will be that everyone will go their seperate ways. She agrees, saying that it's hard for friends to stay together even if they live a few cities away. Great, just great.  
  
Actually, a good thing did happen today. We were playing around in the common rooms (the seventh years) because we had no classes that afternoon due to some "unfortunate accident" involving Snape and a Cornish pixie, and Fred and George and Katie, the Dysfunctional Three, were singing some goopy love song to us, and she was standing right in front of me, and at one point, she started singing to me. Like, pointing, winking the whole bit. It was pretty funny. Later, Angelina was like, "why was she pointing at YOU?" (I do believe she's jealous!)  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
"Colin, here's the deal: I pay you three galleons if you get pictures, at least two pictures of each member of the Quidditch team. Got it?"  
  
"Er...how about five galleons?"  
  
"Colin, three galleons is a lot of money."  
  
"Four?"  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I got Colin Creevey to take pictures of the entire quidditch team. That way, I'll have something to remember Katie by. The rest of the pictures I'll put in a scrapbook. I can sell the Harry Potter pictures to my dearest little sister.  
  
The exams have been very intensive these past few days. All day long, tests, tests, tests. It's always a test. Remembering Regenerating Hexes in Potions, the effect of the 60's on the magical community in History of Magic, the intructions to changing inanimate objects into animate, sentient organisms in Transfiguration, etc. I really haven't had much time to do anything else but cram, which I am very skilled at, cram, cram, think about how much life sucks, and cram.  
  
Four days until I leave Hogwarts forever.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
::runs into room, throws self on bed, bawls::  
  
"Alicia, what's wrong?"  
  
::sniffles:: "Nothing."  
  
"No, really, are you okay?"  
  
"Dammit, do I look okay?"  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
As much I hate the thought of being torn away from school, I will be so glad when the days of bursting into tears are over.  
  
Every single day, I've been arriving to the dorm, only to find it empty. I've cried each time, not only for the drifting time, but for other things.  
  
Like lately, Lee has been acting so incredibly mean. I mean, he practically waits to harass me. It's really unfair, but I can't do anything about it.  
  
And I've been getting bad marks on my Potions work. I know, it shouldn't matter, Snape hates everyone, but it DOES MATTER. I care about my grades-- they're the determining factors for my future job.  
  
Three days.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
"And I don't want the world to see me,  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,  
When everything seems like the movies,  
I just want you to know who I am."  
  
- Eagle Eye Cherry  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today, our Quidditch team had a party. Just the seven of us, Angelina, Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Katie and me. We had tons of sweets and butterbeer, and an enormous cake. At the end, I noticed Colin lurking in one of the corners with his camera. Good boy.  
  
I really don't have much to say. I feel drained and exhausted and just plain sick. There's a rat, chewing away in the bottom of my stomach.  
  
Two days.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It's Monday. I love Mondays. That's when I have the most classes with Katie. Today, life was bearable, because I could just look up and she would be there, bending over her parchment. It was so comforting. It sounds really stupid on paper, but it was just incredibly relaxing to know that Katie was there, close at hand.  
  
Today I did something really stupid, even considering that's it me. I was so full of energy, it was the end of the day. I was running along the hall and the Fat Lady's portrait was open already. (The password was "Mortuus suum".) On an impulse, I jumped at the ledge around the entrace and began to swing into the common room. Bad, bad idea-- Katie was just coming out. I crashed right into her. At least she didn't make much of a fuss-- she laughed and said, "Woah, watch yourself."  
  
One day and the clock is ticking.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I blew it. I really, really blew it.  
  
Classes went as planned, except for the fact I don't have any classes with Katie on Tuesdays. Damn.  
  
I got to walk past her in a few hallways where we had classes right next door, but nothing. It was a wasted effort.  
  
At the end of the day, I watched everyone, including her fall asleep. I did say, "goodnight" like I always do, but it wasn't enough.  
  
No one knows I'm going. No one, except the teachers who've arranged all my test scores to be sent home.  
  
It's like I'm a ghost, invisible, or some nonentity. I feel unsubstantial, unreal, as I sit here in the common rooms. I'm leaving school in less than four hours and I haven't said goodbye.  
  
I want to say goodbye. I need to say goodbye. If I don't, what will be the point of having human emotions? Shouldn't I do what I feel is right?  
  
Too late.  
  
Alicia  
  
***  
  
Author's Note: Yep, anticlimatic ending, huh? Nope, not yet. Not by a long shot. There's still more to go.  



	8. In the still of the night...

Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.  
  
Tip of the Iceberg Part VI  
By Rhi  
  
  
***  
  
The Headmaster, Faculty, and Graduating Class  
of the  
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy  
request the pleasure of your company  
at the  
Graduation Party  
Sunday, the tenth of June  
at five o' clock  
at the Theater of Circe  
  
***  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Cancun wasn't actually all that bad. ALthough I did get bored of ham and cheese sandwiches (that's all the hotel provided), water (the milk was icky) and bubblegum ice cream (too much of a good thing makes stomach aches), I did have fun. The scuba diving was great, the weather was terrific, and the week went by pretty fast.  
  
Of course I still did have my bad times, like at night, when I couldn't go to sleep, or when I wasn't doing anything constructive/ engaging.  
  
So, after weeks of skulking around the hotel and house, I finally found the happy ending to my story, the conclusion of this saga in my life.  
  
On Sunday, I went to the graduation party, which was in an old theater someone had rented for the occasion. It was a combination free for all talent show/ dance, which meant total choas. It was like setting a zoo loose-- everyone was going crazy and spilling out all over the place.  
  
The theater we rented to party in was totally trashed afterwards. There were clothes, bottles, candy wrappers, and all sorts of garbage lying around the place.  
  
It seemed the party went too quickly-- there would be no more time to say goodbye to people I knew; for instance, Cho was leaving the next day to study medical procedures in China.  
  
Feeling exhausted, I tried to find Angelina to take me home, since she lives five minutes away from me.  
  
But as I was heading for what I hoped was Angelina, I noticed Fred and George. And where Fred and George are, Katie usually is.  
  
So, trying to be inconspicous, but wanting to see if my hunch was right, I raced toward them.  
  
I was right-- she was there, but it wasn't her. I mean, it wasn't the girl I'd known, the one who wasn't afraid of singing (badly) in front of large audiences, or the one who listened to us with a cynical smile. This person, this Katie Bell 2.0, was the Anti-Katie.  
  
She was dressed om all white-- the first thing she'd never do-- in a long cotton skirt, a blouse, and a filmy white jacket. The strangest part was she had her hair up. Not in the low ponytail she sometimes wears to games, but twisted and held in place with a little clip, like Lavender does.  
  
She disappeared into a carriage for a while, with Fred and George standing like guards at the door.  
  
I didn't know if I should wait-- Katie had obviously changed into another person while I was away, and I still had to find a ride back home. So I left.  
  
The worst part about leaving was knowing I could have stayed and waited. I could have said my goodbyes. But I didn't . I didn't even look back. Bitter? Yes I was. Pissed off? Incredibly. But then again, there's only so much one can do or say in front of someone else's friends, especially when that someone doesn't seem to "be in the know" about her own situation--  
  
My thoughts were interrupted by someone yelling, "Wait! Alicia!"  
  
Katie, dressed in her normal streetwear, was running to catch up with me. I stopped, hardly believing my eyes or my ears.  
  
"Listen," she started, talking confidentially as she she put an arm around my shoulder. "I've gotten to know you over what-- six?-- years, the time we've played Quidditch together, and I think you're a really great person... so..."  
  
"Yes?" I prompted.  
  
"So... I got you this..."  
  
It was a slim book, a gray cover simply entitled, "Touch and Go".  
  
I opened to the first page of writing, a dedication to the graduating class. And the next page, a poem:  
  
TOUCH AND GO  
  
an uncertain future  
looms ahead  
a cauldron simmering  
noxious fumes threaten  
solitude, abadonment  
the years of childhood  
stripped away;  
we lie vulnerable  
to a world of  
hidden traps.  
-- Katie Bell  
  
I looked up. "What is this?"  
  
She smiled. "It was my idea, but we all made it. 'Collected literature' from all the students and professors."  
  
"Thank you!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Look," she continued, "We all signed yours-- in the back."  
  
I could make out the signatures of Cho, Angelina, the Twins, and a bunch of others, but--  
  
"Where's yours?" I asked.  
  
Gently, she took the book from me and flipped to the very last page:  
  
To a very special friend and team mate:  
  
I had a great time with you in Quidditch. You're an awesome person, not to mention a terrific Chaser. I wish we'd been in more classes, so I could have known you better. You have a very nice smile. Be careful-- it's contagious!  
  
Peace and chill out.  
  
--Katie Bell  
  
I smiled, but she was becoming blurred before my eyes. Damn. Why did I always start crying?  
  
She grinned and hugged me, and I, trying desperately to control my tears, hugged her back.  
  
I don't the hug lasted very long, but everyone was gone when I wiped the tears from my eyes.  
  
"Well, thanks for everything." I sniffed.  
  
"Yeah, take care of yourself. See ya sometime." She replied.  
  
We shook hands, oddly formal now. Then, taking one last look at the girl I'd known forever, yet only a few months, I turned around and looked for a mean of transportation, trying to stifle the new wave of tears. I had my happy ending. I said goodbye, wasn't that enough?  
  
I sat down on a stone bench, not caring that I'd have to wait at least another hour before I got a carriage home. Overwhelmed by the conflicting emotions, I burst out into a fresh waterfall of tears. Not just for Katie, but for the world, for all the people I'd never get to know, for all the regrets I had, for the professors and classmates I'd never see again.  
  
It was a good thirty minutes before I quieted down enough to consider my present predicament.  
  
"Hey," A voice said quietly. I looked up into the smiling face of Katie.  
  
"Hey," I replied.  
  
"Need a ride home?" She asked, holding out a hand.  
  
Beaming, I took it.  
  
***  
  
Author's Note: That's the happy ending, folks, but there's still more to come! In the mean time, reveiw! 


	9. Time to say goodbye...

Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for the moment. I'll return them only after I've horribly scarred them for life.  
  
  
Tip of the Iceberg: Conclusion to a Lifetime  
By Rhi  
  
***  
  
It's been a year since the night of the party, and I never saw Katie since then. She did move to America with her family, and currently is learning to drive a car and play soccer. We do have a correspondence going, with the help of our owls. Her letters are long and informative, detailing her life in Minnesota. She says she's having fun there, but wants to come back to Britain.  
  
I think in those three or four months that I started liking Katie I changed drastically. I used to think of her as a person who was very funny and attractive, more of the latter. But as the days went by, I began to learn more about her and appreciate who she was as well as what she looked like. It's not just a physical thing.  
  
You know, it's funny, when people think of love, their minds immediately go to sex. The two are not mutually inclusive-- lover maybe, but not love. As Angelina says, being in love with someone is like having a best friend that you can be yourself with and not worry and visa versa.  
  
This is the conclusion to the diary of Alicia Spinnet, age 18.  
  
"Well, this is the end of a perfect day,  
Near the end of a journey too.  
For memory has painted this perfect day  
With colors that never fade,  
And we find at the end of a perfect day  
The soul of a friend we've made."  
  
-- Carrie Jacobs Bond  
  
"October knew, of course, that the action of turning a page, of ending a chapter or of shutting a book, did not end a tale. Having admitted that, he would also avow that happy endings were never difficult to find: 'It is simply a matter,' he explained to April, 'of finding a sunny place in a garden, where the light is golden and the grass is soft; somewhere to rest, to stop reading, and to be content.'"  
  
-- A book never written by G. K. Chesterton, Neil Gainman 


End file.
